“Wherever you are, be all there.” – Jim Elliot
On the last day of class for my creative nonfiction workshop, everyone was asked to stand in front of class and read aloud one page of their final portfolio of essays. One by one, we took turns sharing our compiled work — a snapshot of the world as we saw it. As I sat in that upstairs classroom that morning and listened to these pieces, I was completely amazed at how willing my fellow students were to share such raw pieces of their lives with me.
Most people might not list a creative writing class as the course that taught them most about human nature, right? (Although I might be a little biased because I’m an English major). And yet with every new essay, every single one of us students dug out our most honest and vulnerable wonderments to share. The more I learned about my fellow student, the more I learned about myself.
One girl wrote about how she ached for things that will never be again, another rejoiced in the unconditional acceptance of true friends. Students shared about eating disorders, first impressions, vague recollections of childhood homes, life changing experiences, memories that they couldn’t seem to forget, study abroad semesters, alcoholic parents, the nature of home. We hiked through landscapes of our minds, weaving our memories into four to six pages of 12 pt. Times New Roman.
I emerged from that classroom a changed person from the one who had first entered it last January. I emerged with a love of words, words that create a bond between people, words that bring us together in the deepest parts of our souls. My mom was right after all: my first four months at college didn’t change me into a different person — just a growing one.
I’ve had plenty of time since finals week to brew a few thoughts on what I learned from this past semester, and these are the results of many late night scribbled journal entries. Going away to college taught me so many things about myself — hopefully as you read through these thoughts, you’ll recognize some of your own.
Go on Walks
My college campus is situated on the slope of a hill, with a distant view of the beach. Sounds pretty, right? Well, this also meant that with all the walking up and down hills, I was out of breath — all the time. By finals week, I grew to love the strain in my legs and the shortness of breath, the powerful feeling of being toned and strong and firm. The distance no longer bothered me — in fact, I loved the feeling of walking everywhere. It gave me space to get my blood flowing, to reinvigorate my mind, to set my intentions. Trees, sunlight, birdsong, climbing wisteria, and a fresh breeze — add all those together and you get an instant refresh.
Takeaway?
Go on more walks. I want to be intentional about joining my mom for an evening walk, going with a friend to stroll down the beach at dusk, or even going for a brisk walk myself on my breaks. Every time I walk, I finish feeling more centered and alive and energetic and creative.
Do Work that Matters
I bet I speak for most of us when I say that high school misses its mark — by a long shot. There’s so much focus on grades and class credits and SAT scores that the actual love of learning usually gets left in the dust. For the most part, the community college I attended was the same way. When I transferred to this college, I quickly realized that I’d been so focused on getting there that I wasn’t sure what to expect from the classes themselves.
Right away, it was clear that the rules were different. There was no busywork; the homework assignments mattered. College professors aren’t interested in having cookie cutter essays; they wanted you to want to write! This semester, I compiled personal essays that opened a whole world of writing I had never explored before, I wrote poetry and received constructive feedback from my professor so I could refine it, I memorized poetry that gave me chills to recite it.
Takeaway?
It is astonishing how productive we can be if we give ourselves an hour of complete focus. Once we eliminate distractions, we can get a lot done. In the coming months, I want to give myself space to make progress on my writing.
Deeper Thinking
Class times are like a stage. When the professor begins the lecture, the world outside falls away like a curtain. It wasn’t just the classrooms, either — there were so many quiet places designed for reflection: rose gardens, the hidden desks in the back of the library, classrooms with views of the mountains through the paneled windows. All of these places are like portals to deep thought, where all flyby wonderments are brushed away like spiderwebs. I started reading the newspaper more and catching up on what’s happening in the world. I began attending campus events and hearing the college guest speakers. I devoured an astonishing number of classic novels, learned new words like zephyr and coddiwomple.
Takeaway?
Give myself space for growing my mind. Read, read, and read some more. Memorize poems and silently recite them to myself while I’m standing in line at the bank. Listen to podcasts on my drive to work. Meet with my best friend for tea and pontificate together about human nature or destiny.
Find Kindred Spirits
After my first day at college, I remember walking back to my dorm alone and thinking, “What have I done?” I had come to a college where nobody knew my name. No one knew a single thing about me. Some people probably find that idea freeing, knowing that they can start fresh. For my introverted self, it was intimidating. I felt invisible.
For anyone who is going through this, for anyone who feels lonely, I want you to know that it gets better. Somehow as the semester goes on, you’ll get to know people — from your dorm, from the dining commons, classmates, studying together, and so on. I made some of my best friends going to a Wednesday evening Bible study. We listened to hymns and reflected on them over our mugs of hot tea. The best part is that, if you find the right crowd, students want to discuss deep things. They want to talk about ideas that matter.
Takeaway?
Put yourself out there. The deepest connections always start with vulnerability. The good news is that just like you, most people are waiting to be asked. So ask! Talk to your classmate and ask to study together for a test. Tell that friendly person that they have a beautiful smile. If you meet someone who you think is a kindred spirit, make an effort to get to know them. We all want to be appreciated.
Do What You Love
By all means, write up your neat notes and study hard and conquer that midterm. Go for it! But make sure you give yourself space to make memories. When you have the chance to spontaneously see a film at the cinema downtown, take it. If you are aching for a quiet walk in the gardens, go. Cancel your plans and spend your Sunday afternoon reading a thrilling novel. Buy yourself a bracing cup of coffee before a long study session. Put on your headphones and drown in pretty music while you watch the sunset.
TAKEAWAY
It’s okay to just spend some time doing things that make your soul happy. In the end, those are the things you’ll remember most.
<3 Olivia Grace
