“The world only exists in your eyes. You can make it as big or as small as you want.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
I’ll be honest. When I sat down to write today’s blog post, I just ended up staring at my blinking computer cursor. Yesterday I worked a sixteen hour day — starting with working farmer’s market, then setting up a wedding venue, and then waiting tables until late that night. When I got home, I was completely exhausted.
This morning when I woke up and looked out my window at the bright blue sky, I realized that I had nowhere to go today. The Hallelujah Cho rus burst like confetti in my mind.
I haven’t had a day like today in so long. Like I said, there’s a lot of projects I’m working on this summer — saving up enough money for my study abroad program, building this blog, writing the third installment in my trilogy, and taking online classes. I’m busy, but in the best way. I’m leaving for England in seven weeks (I just bought plane tickets last week) but it still hasn’t sunk in that it’s actually happening. It is almost too good to be true, you know?
After a slow morning, I cut up a bowl of fresh fruit, sliced some lemons for my iced water, brewed a cup of coffee, and go to work. With acoustic music playing from my phone, I puttered around my bedroom for hours: rearranging my book collection, tidying up some papers strewn around my room, dusting off windowsills, cleansing my mind with a whole lot of journaling, and generally putting my life together after the frenzy of the last week.
Sometimes I convince myself that if I could only achieve certain things, the pressure will be lifted off my chest and I’ll finally be reach some level of happiness and contentment. If I just check off the last of my to-do list — if I just write the next 10,000 words — if I can just survive this shift — if I can just finish these projects and catch up on emails — if I can just turn in this last assignment — and so on. As if contentment is a state I could reach by getting things done.
There is a stack of things waiting on my desk for attention. There probably always will be. But for right now, I’m trying to let myself be content to just be. To just live right now without worrying about what tomorrow holds. We are only human — God only ever meant us to take this life 24 hours at a time.
Wherever you are in this moment, however life is going for you, remember to just pause and breathe. Look around you. Notice what is happening, how you are feeling, who you’re with, what you’re thinking. Just breathe. Breathe and be still.
<3 Olivia Grace
